so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
