i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
