oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I intend to get homeless drunk
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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