Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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