So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
