I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
