Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
