what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
