Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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