Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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