This girl is more easily done than said...
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
