Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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