yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
