god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
