I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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