Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
