school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
