I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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