Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
