In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
