I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Are we in a gay sports bar?
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
