i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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