I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize