Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
