i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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