Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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