Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
You smell like stripper and shame
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
