my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I just had sex on a roof
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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