i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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