I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
this will be a night to untag.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Such a big mess for such a small penis
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
