i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
