I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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