see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
