took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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