i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
whose parrot is this?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Pooping to opera.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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