your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
