By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
