i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
