I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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