my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
