he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
