I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
