Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
