no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
