Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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