your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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