You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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