I didn't shave. On purpose
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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