I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
