you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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