I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
