I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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