I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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