she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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