You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
